New blog!!

I have created a new blog, that won't be private, that I will be blogging on from now on. I just don't like being set to private, but I want more privacy than what I previously had on my blog. I will save this one, but no longer blog on it, or the blessings for the good life. We are closing our home to fostering after the adoption (only FIVE days away!) and I will post pictures, but only use first initial when talking about the kids. PLEASE go check it out, follow it, connect me up, this will be us from now on. When I comment on you pages, it will now say mom of 5 as my name. Please don't put my last name when you link me up. Thank you, I love all my friends, see ya over yonder! www.cmnlrzc.blogspot.com (that is all of our initials in case you were wondering my craziness)

I hope you dance....

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder....May you never take one single breath for granted...

Never settle for the path of least resistance. Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter, when you come close to selling out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, and when you get the choice, to sit it out, or dance.....

I hope you Dance!!

When I was looking through these photos, the chorus of that song came to mind, so I googled the words, and wow, I felt like they really reflected on my life this past few months. I hope our childen will live their life to the fullest, and not be afraid to take chances b/c of fear....but leap with faith, b/c if they settle for the path of least resistance, they may just miss out on an incredible dance.

our Week.....

I admit, I don't like blogging as much now that I have it set to private. I just feel lonely. I don't know what I will do over time, but for now, I will update you on our past week.

Christian will be 10 months old next week. He is taking steps when you hold his hands, he started clapping 2 days ago, and his 4th tooth just came in. He has gotten 4 teeth in about 3 weeks, and bless his heart, he has been so fussy, and I don't blame him one bit! His teacher at school though says he is so sweet all the time, he hardly cries. She said she wishes she had a room full of him!

Partly b/c of drama created last week, and also just b/c Noah got SO many new lego sets for his birthday, we had been talking about a room for him. We have discussed this several times, but I just didn't want to do anything permanent, b/c I change my mind so easily. So, for $150, we created him a wall with bookshelves dividing our den. His room is now off the kitchen, and he loves it! He spends so much time in there now, and the girls are so glad to have playing space in their room again. This works great for Noah b/c he can play his legos behind the baby gate, but still be near the action, and hear everything going on.
This is the otherside, in our living room. I don't have things on the shelves the way I want it yet, but I am loving all the new storage. We anchored them to the wall and each other. this is 4 bookshelves on our side, and 1 on his side that makes this wall. 2 shelves on all 4 cases are hidden behind the couch, and now I have a place to keep all my books and photo albums, and can just put cute stuff up top.

The kids were all at VBS last week in Monticello, and their planting pots they made are so cute!

Saturday was out 11th anniversary. I asked the kids if they would like to help me get everything ready like a restaurant to surprise daddy when he got off work. We'd planned on going out of town for our anniversary, but now with Clay's new job, she works 12 hr shifts on the weekends, so he ended up having to work.

Noah rolled up our silverwear with a paper towel, and Leah made us menus.

We had tomatoes from my dad's garden, and I used a yummy Fetucchini Alfredo recipe.

Caesar Salad and Shrimp cocktail. I got it all ready beforehand, so I could sit down with Clay and let them serve us.

That is coca cola in those glasses, and I got out my candle holders he got me for a wedding gift.

I love this man!!

Noah made us a cheesecake all by himself.

We started doing some school work this week, and I think things are going to go well this year. I am more prepared this year than I have ever been, and after my kids did well transitioning to public school in the middle of the year, I am more confident of my ability as a teacher...and that break last year was just what I needed. I am ready!

This was Rachel's journal entry about what she liked about homeschooling. She loves to write.

My mother in law got Zachariah a sand table for his birthday. We just got sand for him today, so a couple of days ago, we used water in it, and as you can see, he enjoyed getting wet :)

I had thrown some of Clay's old white shirts away that were so worn out, and the kids discovered them in the garbage, and spent 2 hours entertaining themself with them last night.

I believe they said they are a Princess, Mummy, and a Scientist.

Today was Zachariah's last day in his current classroom at school. He has done great there. He loves it. He doesn't talk while he is there, but has picked up so much and is coming home saying it. The kids wanted to join him for his party today, and while we were there he was more verbal, and the teachers were excited to hear him talk. His classroom is the Weebles, and I love his little Weeble guy. There were white weebles, black weebles, and then I laughed when I saw they had tried to make an in-between color for him. They gave him his curls too. Then one of his teachers told me his nickname is Jacob Black, b/c they think he looks like them. I had thought that too when I was watching New Moon...kinda silly thinking my 2 yr old looks like a grown young man, but I did, and thought it was funny they did too! I think he is such a beautiful little boy, and I am Team Jacob, so I don't mind at all my son looking like him :)

I love how the big kids love to play with little kids so much. They just ran around the room with them, and entertained them. The teachers said they were giving them a break! They were dancing and all the kids kept running up to them to do stuff. Zachariah was so excited to have them in his classroom with them, I am really glad we went. As we were leaving, one of Zach's teachers told them to all come back when they are 18 and get a job!

What keeps me going everyday...

Well, I have set my blog to private, and will probably keep it that way. I just feel like it is best for our family to have it that way. Thank you everyone for coming for a look!

August 26th, our adoption date (HOOORAY!!!) can't get here fast enough. I know I have shared a bit that we have had to fight to keep these boys together. I have been the brunt of scrutiny and criticism from their aunt. She has made up lies, twisted my words, tried to make me out to be a bad person every step of the way. This has been really hard for me...I have never had an enemy that I can think of. I like to lay low, and never cause drama. I want people to like me. Especially when I have nothing but good intentions meant. Just last week, their aunt sent out an e-mail trying to stir up trouble. It was all lies, our attorney assured us that it doesn't change anything, but it really has upset me. I can't defend myself, I can't tell her what I think of her...I just have to remain quiet, and let it pass. You know, I beat myself up bad enough, I don't need her running me down too.

I know all that she says are lies. She says I am overwhelmed, overworked, worn out....well that may be true...what momma isn't? I know she would be after spending 2 days with these 2 little boys. She says I love my older kids more, she prays I will treat the younger boys like I do my own. She says our older kids are being neglected. I have too many children. lalalala

I wish she could see these photos. Read my words, know my heart. Doesn't she understand that the reason I fought for them so hard was b/c I love them so much? Our caseworker suggested to me a few months ago that I "let Christian go" so that we wouldn't chance losing Zachariah too. I cried an entire weekend, until Clay and I both said there was no way we could do that. These boys deserved for us to fight for them to stay together, and how could I choose to let one go, and let one stay. I would NEVER choose to let one of our bio kids leave so that one could stay. I would fight for them to be together, and to be with us until the end, and that is what we did for the boys. I think about him suggesting that to me.....it was gut wrenching for me to think of losing Zachariah. Part of me thought that maybe I should do that, b/c I was his momma, and I had to fight to not lose him. Each time I said to myself, "o.k....Christian can go"....I just burst into tears. It was just as gut wrenching to think of losing him as it was Zachariah. In a way, I am glad that happened. That weekend, I knew, without a doubt, that fighting for them was the right thing for me to do, no regrets. I think back and think if I had taken his crappy advice...and I look at the end result. I would not have been trusting God, trusting his plan by getting scared and giving up. I would have lost my son....but instead we fought, and we won.

Yes, I have a lot of kids. Yes, I am always tired. Yes, I get overwhelmed. Yes, I do enjoy having alone time with my big kids, and a break from them all. I also miss the babies everyday when they are at school, always questioning if I have made the right decision for them to go, and so glad to see them every afternoon. And Yes, I love all 5 of them, with every ounce of my heart, and I am so grateful for our blessings. These last 2 years have been HARD...SO HARD...but looking at these photos...I would not change one single thing.

Do you see how much he loves his sister?
Look at this full table of younguns? This was from a weekend that Amber and Hunter stayed with us.

Such sweet precious boys. I look at these photos, and think back 2 years ago when we took them into our home. Zachariah was 6 weeks old, Hunter was 7 months old.

All I can do is just beam when I look at this photo :)

I fall in love with him all over again everytime I catch moments like this.

Being a daddy to these little boys that don't have daddy's...I couldn't be prouder of my man.

Not all our photos are perfect, but they still make me laugh :)

Oh, my sweet Talan. You have taught our family so much. Everytime I see you, I just can't get enough hugs and kisses! When I think of my children, you are always included in my heart.

Big brother reading to his little brothers. He is so proud to go from the only boy to having 2 brothers. Very proud.

:)

His smile can always turn a bad mood around....how can 1 babies smile be so stinking cute? And his eyes just sparkle...

This crazy boy had his shorts on like this when I got him out of bed yesterday morning. You know that I have 5 kids when I just let him wear them that way for most of the day. I love how he cheeses for me everytime I take his picture now!

Do you see my little teeth coming in???

Happy, silly, moments

boys already fighting over the Wii remote...that they aren't even suppose to have!

They love to stand at the window together and look out. I smile everytime I watch them there. Christian is SO short!! They are only 15 months apart, the same age difference as Leah and Rachel. I can't imagine someone trying to seperate them. To live seperately...

how could someone wanting to do that be wanting what is best for them? Seems pretty selfish to me.

learning to brush his teeth from big sis. There are many things that he won't do for me, that he will do for her. She helps him learn in so many ways.

The only time he will sit still is if he is sitting on the beanbag with one of them, and usually Rachel. Christian has his eyes set on those Apple Jacks!! He is never far behind....just as a little brother should be.

and look at my little boy standing....he has 4 other people to catch up to!!