To your Mother....

I think about Zachariah and Christian's mother pretty often. I have never seen her, or met her, and I wonder what she looks like. Zach's old caseworker came to visit, and the minute she saw Christian she said that he looked just like his momma. She has told me before that Zachariah favors her a lot too....I hope the boys will favor each other. They are both so beautiful. Does she know that? Does she know what beautiful precious babies she has?

The stories I have heard about her, my heart just breaks. People ask, "how could she just abandon them, I don't understand". I do. I think about my parents, about how close I was to my own mother, how they raised me, how they treated me. It is not one bit of comparison to the life their mother had growing up. Their grandmother is a bad person. She did not protect her daughter the way a parent is intrusted to do. Their mother never had an example, was probably never shown what true, genuine, motherly love is. I am so blessed that I was. I am so thankful that my mother taught me that, she gave me a love for babies, the desire to be a good mom.

I truly feel sadness for their mother. Her life must be something aweful, that she knows she can't even try to be a mother to them. I know, just how much she is missing out on. It is something great. It is something I wouldn't trade. I am thankful to her though. I am so thankful that she chose to give her babies up, to give them a chance at a better life. The judge said it perfect in court, "she left Christian in the safest place possible, and she has to be commended for not taking him off somewhere, or trying to care for him when she couldn't". I totally agree. I think about my other 2 babies, Hunter and Talan. Look at what both those babies suffered b/c their mothers weren't able to care for them.

What an enormous job the Lord has entrusted in me. It is overwhelming sometimes. I worry that I will be able to live up to what he has given me. To help these boys know love, to help them overcome the cycle of foster care and abuse, to help them heal, b/c I know they will have struggles growing up. To raise them to be fine, Christian men. I want them to become good fathers, b/c they have a good father. Luckily, I am blessed with a husband that is an amazing father, and loves these boys, and shows them so much love all the time. I wan thtem to always know I love them just as much as Noah, Leah, and Rachel. I longed for them, and prayed for them just as I did for the other 3. My heart knows no difference.

To their mother, thank you. Thank you for the most precious gift. I pray that you will heal, and that one day you will know love, know what it is to receive love, and to give love. You deserves it as much as your babies.