He had his first visit with his Great Aunt and Uncle yesterday. They were very kind people. They looked like a set of sweet grandparents. She is 60, not sure about him. Meaning, when he is 20, she would be 80. They were so nice. If I had met them for Hunter, Amber, or Talan, I would have been so excited to meet such kind people to take care of them, such relief. Instead, I just feel lots of sadness. And Fear. The caseworker did tell me that they are recommending that Zachariah stay with us. I am still very nervous that this can affect him in some way though. And I just really, really want them to grow up together. I saw mine grow up together, and I know how special that is. Clay thinks we will either get to keep both, or neither. I just don't know what to think. I wish they would hurry up and have the staffing so I will know a little more what is going on.
I don't know why this has hit me so hard. Every child we have had has had visits. Everyone we have had was an uncertain outcome. I didn't go into fostering to adopt, I went into it to foster them, for as long as they need me. It is just that Christian is Zachariah's brother, so he instantly felt so much more like ours when he came. I am trying really hard to get my mind right about this. I want what is best for both boys, whatever it may be. I have to get my mind right about this, b/c otherwise, if he leaves, I will just be devastated.
i tried to send you an email several times, keep getting the mailer deamon.... anyway, i know i don't comment much, and haven't talked with you in awhile, but i just wanted to let you know i'm still here, still reading, still praying diligently for you and your family, and still fully understanding this path and the emotions it brings. we had to "share" blessing and mercy for visits for some time.
ReplyDeleteshoot me an email or something, i can't wait to hear more about z's diagnosis and especially his therapy.. am very interested because of blessing neurological and sensory issues. ;) love to you all!!
Oh Maury my heart aches for you! I just want so badly for you guys to have both of those boys as a permanent part of your family. Even just seeing them in pictures and only talking to you through blogs, FB, and email.. it just seems like they belong with you!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely understand why the grandparents would want him.. but I just wish they could see how amazing his life will be if he stays put. He can grow up with so many siblings with young parents. Praying hard!
I love his sweet face...
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