Will your excuses be o.k. with God?

I hesitate to ever talk about this, b/c I never want to sound like I judge people that don't make the same decisions as me, or that I think I am better than anyone. In fact, I am always humbled, and somewhat embarrassed when people praise us or say nice things about us fostering. I don't feel like what we do is such a huge thing, I don't deserve to be on a pedistal. I feel like the Lord has blessed me by bringing this into our lives. By showing us what helping others can do for us. My babies bring me more joy and happiness than I feel can compare to what I give to them. Many times I look at them and wonder how I can be so lucky to not only be blessed with my 3, but he has entrusted me to love and care for 2 more precious gifts. It is more than I ask for, more than I deserve.

And when talking about deserving, since becoming a foster parent, I often think why did I get to be so lucky? Why do I have so many blessings, got to have a good life growing up, while others live in poverty, abuse, pain, and suffering? Why was I lucky to be blessed with the parents and family I have, when our boys' mother was given a crummy deal. I feel like just that fact right there, I owe so much to God. The least I can do is to care for his children.

I believe totally that he wants me to care for his children. I have seen in every way how he has lead me to this path. I know he is leading others too, and that is beautiful to see. I wonder though, how many more people he speaks to, but their excuses get in the way. I can't even count the number of people that will sing our praises, and then say, "oh, I couldn't do that", or "I have thought about fostering, and I just couldn't let them go". I had one foster parent say the other day that when people say that to her, she wants to say, "So what kind of person do you think I am, that I CAN let them go? It is not easy at all for me, and my children cry everytime. But then they are the first ones ready to take in the next child." I just wonder, if the Lord came to you, in person, and said, "these children have been neglected, beaten, have never been safe or know what it feels to be safe, and I need YOU to give them a home. Teach them love and security, b/c you may be the only chance this child ever has." Would you tell God, "no, I can't do that b/c it will hurt too much when they leave". Would you be able to say that to his face? Is your pain really worth more than the life of a child? These broken children grow up to be broken adults, who have more broken children. We, as Christians are the only hope for these cycles to be broken.

I feel God's hand on my shoulders daily. When I feel that I just can't go on anymore, I say that in my prayers, and he hears me. He leads me out of the pit. He gives me the wisdom, paitience, and grace to do it everyday. I also feel that he led me to write this post today. I was waiting in line at Wendy's when these words came to me, and I felt like I had to come home and write this. I don't want to offend anyone. I want to encourage. I want you to see that you CAN love these hurt children. You can make a difference in their lives, and you CAN give them up, if you have to, and know that your love has made a difference in their life, in others' life, and you have done just what the Lord has called you to do.

I also would like you to read this letter written by a 15 yr old boy to his mother. His mother that has foster over 40 children, and has fostered for his entire life. To people that are afraid to foster b/c of how it may affect your own children, let this be encouragement to you. I pray that someday my son can be half the person that this boy has grown to be. I am also proud to say that she was our son Z's foster mother before he came to us....she is the reason I am his mother. http://www.themiddlemom.wordpress.com/