sleep

My head has been swimming with blog posts all week, but I am just too exhausted by the time I get a chance to sit down and do them. I could tell you so many positive things about this week, b/c there are a lot. I know that is what I need to focus on. But, the devil just knows how to get to me. It is in the sleep department. I have dealt very well with this until this week, but being sick, along with bringing another baby into the house.....oh my. He has found my weakness. I have been so proud of myself that I have dealt with the no sleep issue so much better than when my kids were babies. Our family has been going full force from 6 am until 8 or 9 at night. Then Zacharaiah and Hunter come to life. They won't go to bed for anything. Once they finally allow me to go to sleep, then it is someone different all night long. I went to bed at 1:30, and was awakened at 4:30 am by Amber SCREAMING in our bedroom door (this was after I had already been up 3 times with the 2 babies). And the minute I got up, she was suddenly o.k. and ready to watch her "princess movie". I marched her back to bed, and she was not happy about that. Then I heard Zachariah crying. This is after I stepped on and fell over Noah sleeping in our floor. I was cursing and ranting, so Clay got up, and joined me in the lovely no sleep induced mood I was in. In this case I don't think misery loves company. Then Hunter was up. Oh my word. That poor little boy. He can be SO good. But when he is not happy, nothing in this world will make him feel better than a bottle in his mouth. I think that is the only way he knows to be comforted. But then he gorges himself and is fussy b/c his belly hurts.

And all this goes on while my 3 bio kids are sleeping calmly and peacefully.....can you see how the devil is using this to toy with us? Do you know all the thoughts that have been going on in my head today wondering why I brought this on myself? Lack of sleep makes me very weak. It makes me feel like a monster. I NEED sleep at night. I am only asking for 6 hrs uninterrupted, but I need it to be able to take care of 6 kids full force all day. And, of course, now that Amber is a live wire, and the other 3 will be up soon, the babies will sleep all morning long.

Sorry about the rant today, hopefully the next time I get a chance to post, I will have a better attitude so that I can tell you all the good and sweet things that I love about all these babies.

Oh, and now I think all 3 of the new kiddos are sick. Fun fun.

Update

Just wanted to type a quick update. I am Clay, Rachel and me are all still very sick, and that makes it hard, but overall things are going really well. With Noah's help, we made the room changes, and that seemed to help out a lot. We have had a good day today despite me feeling like I have been run over by a truck. My mom and sis are on their way to help...woohoo! Will type more later, everyone is running crazy!

not to leave him out...

This is what Zachariah did the entire day we were out for Rachel's day. He was so good, he really likes his new stroller!

Rachel's Birthday Celebration in pictures

Help me make it through this day

I want to thank everyone for all your kind words, encouragement, and prayers. You don't know how much that means to me. I need it! This is not easy at all. I cried when I went through and read everything yesterday.
It was a very smooth and easy adjustment getting Zachariah, but these 2 new ones....WHEH it is a challenge! And, my kids are home sick from school, so that makes it even wilder. I like the kids, and want to make it work, it is just hard, and Clay and I are both sick too, so you know how hard it is to be patient with everyone when you are sick. And I have no choice but the be patient. I have to hold it all together, and not even show weakness for Clay, b/c he is already convinced this is too much and wants me to call our caseworker to find a new home for them, and I need to prove that I can do it all, b/c I want to make it work so they can stay here. Why would we do all this, to give up the 2nd time we get a placement? I know it will get easier with a routine, and I am willing to stick it out, but I also don't want him resenting me either. So, now that I got all that off my chest this morning, I need to go see about rearranging bedrooms. Amber takes ownership of everything she touches....this is MINE just b/c it is in the room that she is sleeping in. I think there needs to be a girl's room, a boy's room, and a toy room. Let's see if I have the energy to make that happen today!

More from today

I am up now waiting on Zachariah to call it a night. He came to life whenever I got the other ones to bed. I don't really mind since I didn't have any down time today to just sit and hold him, but I am oh so tired! I had about 3 hrs of sleep last night. The kids all slept great, but I couldn't sleep b/c I kept worrying what Amber would do when she woke up in a strange place. As it was, she woke up about 8 this morning, and I heard her in there quietly talking, and I went in and introduced myself, and about that time the girls woke up and you would have thought she had known us forever! She has talked about her family a lot today. She seems really close to her papaw. I don't know what that situation is like, but I hope maybe it will be where he will be able to take the kids. She was telling me how he takes her to church, and then she asked me if I go to church!

She was a big challenge in the sharing department. And it was worse b/c she wanted to play with all Rachel's toys she just got for her b-day. But, all in all, it went very well considering how bad it could have all gone! ha The 2 baby thing is just a huge challenge. Hunter is a really good baby even, and Zachariah slept a lot....(explains why he has been wide awake the last 3 hrs, he sleeps better during chaos I have determined) but I didn't have one minute of downtime until 9 pm. The day all just kinda seems like a blur to me.

My mom and sis are coming tomorrow, and I am excited about the extra hands to help hold babies! They are coming though to help with everyone b/c I have to take Zachariah to court. His judge requires the children to be present. I am unsure what that will all be like, and will probably be seeing, possibly meeting his parents tomorow. That makes me a tad nervous, but at the same time, I want to. I am thinking sitting in on this I will probably learn more about him and his parents than any other way. I do wish Clay could go with me but he has to work.

Well, baby Z has been quiet for a bit, so I guess I am off to bed. I pray I get to stay there for at least 4 hrs before I have to get up again.

Look at those curls on the end of her hair!! I love them. I wasn't able to brush her hair at all today. Oh, I wanted to so bad, but it was still pretty. And she also has a lot of pretty natural shades of different color through out it. I took Amber to WM to get her a few things. I picked her out this gown, and then decided to get the girls both a matching one. It was a hit, and a great bonding time, they all got excited about it, and seemed to play together much better afterwards.

They wanted me to take a picture of them pretend running
He is such a happy baby. He doesn't cry much, and when he does it isn't loud.

Our 1st day with 6 kids.....

I am exhausted. That is all I have the energy to type!