I haven't posted in a couple of days, b/c my brain has really been spinning this week. Thoughts of school...and other things too. But this week, I am happy to report, these are positive thoughts. Thank you to wonderful friends for your words of encouragment and e-mails....they have helped me more than you can ever know. I no longer feel angry and frustrated. I have spents much time in prayer, and also in reflection to advice I have been given. As I have said before, everyone that posts on here...are such a blessing to me, and your words of encouragement and advice are uplifting. This is the most peace I have felt in a long time.
As one very wise woman said to me....I am now looking as myself as a servant to my family....that is my job. God gave them to me for me to take care of. I am not stressing now about when will I get my me time. She really hit the nail on the head. That is what was making me so miserable! I was in a bad mood b/c I was spending my whole day thinking about me me me...how tired I am, the things I want to do and can't. Now that I am "getting over myself", my attitude has changed. And you know what?? I do still have me time, but now I can relax and feel like I deserve it b/c I have served my family first. Now, I admit, I haven't made this transition perfectly, and am still selfish at times, but I am making improvements. I know with God's help, I will continue to get better and better about this.
Last night, I was talking to Clay, and I said, you probably haven't noticed, but I have really been trying to be better, and praying about it to. And he said....well you still aren't too nice to me...(yes, I do still need to work on that! But I wish he would too! ha ha and I have been nice to him today) But Noah overheard me and said.....oh momma, I have noticed.....you have been acting so good lately! I gave him the biggest hug!
Everyday, I am going over my blessings in my mind...and I know I am so blessed. I wonder often why have been so blessed b/c I haven't appreciated it the way I should, and I don't feel like I have lived for God enough to deserve it. Well....I am really trying to change that too.
Oh how often this happens. I am so guilty of thinking about ME ME ME. I am glad you gave the statement about we are a servant to our family. We have so much pity for ourselves, yet we neglect all the blessings that are around us.
ReplyDeleteMaury - Thank you for your post on blessings. I am so overwhelmed at the moment with graduate school, work, family, and church I don't know where to start. But I realized it will all come into place with God's help. I haven't been relying on prayer enough in the past few months and I need to turn it over to HIM and it will get accomplished in the right order. If you haven't seen the movie "Facing the Giants" then you need to. We bought it over the 4th and have watched it several times. Hannah said the college kids have got to see it. We really miss you at church in Monticello.
ReplyDeleteAwesome girl,you KNOW I am here if you need me!!Keep on Keepin on,prayerfully.
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