sometimes it hits me.....

When we are at the dining table and we now have an empty seat and high chair. The kids will all be saying something, each voicing what they want, or repeating after one another....I miss the addition of one more voice. When we all pile in the car....there is room to spare. Now, that is not a bad thing...but I still notice. As I am fixing plates for everyone, I have to count again....now one is missing. As I wash the clothes, there are a lot less. And, I even miss the sweet little "good morning" that greated me oh so early in the mornings. I still find myself watching the clock somedays thinking it is time to go pick them up from daycare. When I click to this blog and look at my header....I just about cry everytime. They were my family. I am happy for the 4 children I have, and that is very much enough for me, but I still fill it.

I never had any plans or wishes to adopt them. I knew that wasn't in our future plans. I knew they wouldn't be here forever, but I still miss them.

I talked to "Ms. Jenny" their new mom today. She is planning Hunter a birthday party Saturday, and we are SO EXCITED to get to be going. The kids and I were talking at dinner tonight...Rachel has the countdown going until the day of his party. She said today she couldn't wait to see Amber. I was so glad to hear her say that. Jenny was telling me that Amber talks about us all the time, and she is just beside herself to get to help make Hunter's cupcakes. She was telling me that Hunter is a little wild man these days. He is crawling all over the house, talking up a storm, and even getting around in his walker. As I was telling the kids about that tonight, Noah about had tears in his eyes, and said he was sad that we missed seeing that. So then we talked about all the things we did see him do while he was here. They are doing well. I am so happy for that. Amber is pushing her buttons too...just as I knew she would, and even though Jenny has never had children, it sounds like she is handling it very well.