Rolling with the punches

That is what you have to learn to do when you are a foster parent. Roll with the punches. Otherwise, you may just lose your mind. I could pick any month out of the last year and a half, and could tell you several ups and downs in that month. I don't have to look far though, I can just tell you about the month of December.

Chrisitian was hospitalized after going into respiratory failure. While he was there he was tested for STD's, (which were luckily negative, even after a scare), tested for Cystic Fibrosis...wow, that would have been a lifelong illness. While dealing with the rollercoaster of that, I was also at home, discovering things going on with Zachariah. See, he has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. That deserves a whole post in itself, and I do want to talk about it, as this is a very big thing that will affect him, and all of us as he grows up. One of the big issues with that is that fact that they just don't sleep. Bless his heart, he will just stay awake for hours. He also has some sensory issues, that luckily we will begin therapy for soon.

While Christian was in the hospital, I attended a scheduled court hearing. Upon arriving to the court house, I saw Zachariah's dad. He apparently had a hearing right before us to request a court appointed attorney, so that he could file an appeal to the termination. Yes, he was appointed that attorney, and he has filed his appeal. I have been told they are very seldom overturned, but still, they take 6 months to a year, so we have that much more time to be in limbo, waiting. But, there was good news that day. The judge set a date for February to go ahead and terminate parental rights for Christian. Yay, no long, drug out process for him and us.

Until today. His caseworker came by and told me that a great Aunt of Christian's has stepped up and wants him. Christian's mom's mom's sister. His grandmother's sister. And, yes, in case you are wondering, she is equally kin to Zachariah. Where was she a year and a half ago? I asked, and the caseworker said he asked as well. She claims that she didn't know about him, that she only knew of Christian b/c she saw a family member at a funeral, that she normally doesn't associate with that family. Yes, but it is funny, that the caseworker never told her Zach's name, but then when she e-mailed him, she mentioned Zachariah by name, but said that since he had been with us so long, she wouldn't want to interrupt that. But she doesn't care about Christian staying with his brother, or his family, with his mom that he has bonded with and been with since he was a day old? I have many rational feelings floating in my head, but my heart, my emotional feelings says that I am furious. I am furious at her that she didn't come forth and want Zachariah. I know I am sounding like his dad now, accusing them of being racial, but I had heard in the beginning that none of their family wanted him b/c he was part African American, and now, this aunt is actually the second family member that has expressed interest in Christian. If they didn't want Zachariah, then they don't deserve Christian. That is how my heart feels. Now, I know that things could really be as she said, and I hope and pray that she means what she says, that she doesn't associate with that part of the family. There are some things that still make this idea questionable, one being her age. The caseworker told me that it is good that we have Zachariah b/c they like to keep siblings together. He had told the aunt that she couldn't have Zachariah b/c since mom's rights have been terminated, then she is legally not kin to him anymore, but who is to say that he judge wouldn't think that they both should go live with family?

Roll with the punches. That is what you have to do. Tonight, after the babies went to bed, I had the 3 bigger kids crawl into my lap, and I was thinking to myself that I am so glad, so lucky that the state, some judge, can't say they aren't my children forever. I know, that I can say I am their momma forever, no matter what happens.

All that said, look at this cutie patootie!! He is just the cutest thing. He is doing really well, and enjoying being home from that yucky hospital!