What may have saved my child

As we were in court the other day, it was testified that our babies were brought into care as a result of Garrett's law. I have always known why they were brought into care, and I have heard of that law, but I wanted to look more into it. There is a lot of different viewpoints on it...which I guess I am not surprised. One lady was complaining b/c she smoked "just a little pot", and lost her baby as a result. I just want to ask...why would you even smoke it when you know you are pregnant? I don't judge people that did these things before they knew...but once you know, why would you, unless you do have a problem that needs to be investigated. There are also tests that some states do to that determine if the baby was exposed to alcohol. Most states won't do that, b/c alcohol is a legal drug...yet my child will suffer his entire life from the effects of his mother's drinking. Come spend an hour with me in the morning, and watch my poor child cling to me crying b/c he can't express how he feels, he can't regulate how he feels, and you will see a small fraction of what we are going through.

It was said to me recently that if they ever saw the boy's mother, they would thank her for abandoning her boys....b/c it was the very best thing she could have ever done. I agree. I pray for her, that she will find healing, but I am so glad that she just walked away, b/c she is not capable of caring for them safely right now.

I am currently reading The Child Called It, by Dave Peltzer. I have read these books before, but now, reading them as a foster parent and a mother, it is even harder to read. I can't even fathom how a mother can inflict that kind of torture on a child, but even more...WHY didn't someone step in years sooner and help that poor boy? I hope, I pray, that people are more intune with abuse now and would report something like that sooner. His mother was a severe alcoholic. I can't help but think that possibly Garrett's law may have saved my sweet little Z from abuse or severe neglect. I wonder if she would have abandoned C, had she not already lost one child to the system?

Did you know, there were laws protecting animals from abuse before there were laws protecting children? Children were considered property, therefore a parent could do with them what they wanted. Seriously.

Just recently a couple's baby died in Arkansas, was found dead on the couch, but meth was found in her system. The news reported that the parents could face 1 yr, or up to $1,000 fine for her death. Really? That is all? I can't begin to say how angry that makes me.

This is a rambling post this morning, but all these things have been going through my mind, and I just wanted to share. These children need advocates, they need someone to save them, even if it is just 1 child at a time.

The babies with our new puppy

Zachariah has always been scared of dogs, but he has never been around them enough to learn to not be scared. It has really taken him awhile, and he is still warming up to her. He will be very brave at times, and terrified still at other times. Sometimes he pets her, even hugs her, and other times he swats at her, and will even still run from her screaming. Luckily, she doesn't seem phased by any of his behavior. She is very sweet and patient with him, and never tries to nip at him.

Here, he has his face plastered to her cage watching her...

This was one of his braver moments,

and here he will pet her, but more from a distance

Sometimes Molly likes to cool off in their pool...

I love this photo! Zachariah was very amused that she was in their pool!

blog post by C

To see some crawling cuteness, and our blessed news, click here.... www.blessingsforthegoodlife.blogspot.com

On the move/Good news!!

I am on the move in a big way!! I am keeping my momma hopping, especially since my brothers and sisters leave out all kinds of stuff for me to get into :) I even learned how to dig in the garbage yesterday while in the walker, and had Zach's leftover ice cream all over my head! Watch out world!

Luckily, I have found a new love for my swing that momma tried to give away. This makes momma very happy that I can be confined and calm for a few minutes at a time.
**And, the best news ever....the judge officially decided that I can live with my momma, daddy, 2 brothers, and 2 sisters forever!!! And, the appeal for my brother is over, and he is clear to be adopted too...so our attorney's are trying to get our adoption date set for the next 30 days!!!! Do you know how happy our family is that Zachariah and I will officially be Draper, on Paper!!

Love,

Christian Jacob Draper...(almost)

Meet Molly Anne

We got a puppy!!! I never thought there would be a day that I would announce that, but we did, and I love her. We all love her. She is a very sweet little puppy. We got her and surprised the kids when they got home. I named her Molly myself, but Leah picked Anne...and Noah said it had to have E on the end (Leah said they watched Anne of Green Gables this weekend...she has and E on her name!)

We adopted her from the Sherwood Animal Shelter. We were very impressed with their facility. Wow...it sure is easy to adopt a dog :) We were laughing at how easily we could just walk in, say we want a dog, pick her out, and leave with her within 30 mins. Much much different from our boys :) But funny, we got her, had nothing, so we went to Pet Smart and were just wondering around saying, "I can't believe we just got a dog...we have no clue what we are doing". We will take in all kinds kids, but a dog?? We have discussed this for months, fretted over it, and were terified when we got her. We are so goofy!

Noah is so much like me! He was right along with me in saying that we didn't want a dog...and now he can't get enough of her. He is picking her up more than the girls.

A room for 3

Our big kids are spending time at grandparents...(for the longest stretch ever!). I decided instead of missing them...which I do like crazy...I would spend this time getting the rest of my nest built, so that I would have more time for them when they get home. This room has been a work in progress since we moved in, but I can finally say it is DONE! The only way you get a clean photo of this is the fact that they are gone...so I snagged my chance.

This room is SMALL. It is smaller than any of the bedrooms at our old house, and has more children in it! I first tried a boys room and a girls room, but the babies schedule is just so different, I decided that wasn't fair to Noah to have to be so quiet all the time, and then get awakened early in the am, so I moved him in with the girls. How do you decorate a room for boys and girls? All the ideas I came up with either cost money, or were too cutsie for their age. I feel like this will be the set-up for a couple of years until the babies are bigger, so I wanted to make it something we could all live with.

The girls wanted a purple room. I vetoed that, and said we were going with bright green. I did splurge and get them all a new bedspread. $30 each was the cheapest I could find, and I love all the bright colors of these from WM. They all have the green in them in common.

With a window, a closet with double doors 2 bunkbeds with ladders, a ceiling fan in the way of their poor heads, and the door to their room....I thought I could never swing this.

But we made it work. Barely. I removed the closet doors, and I luckily had these brown curtains that I had no use for, so they cover the window and the closet.
Noah has the space under his bed, the girls have a little nook between the beds with their bookcase and keepsake stuff on it.

How do you decorate the walls? I just decided to use their artwork. This is Leah's,

This is Rachel's

my all-time favorite photo from a trip to the beach

canvas paintings from when they were 4, 5, and 6...and the 1 smaller ones were by Noah and Rachel

Between there is the girl's nook. We got rid of a TON of toys. The kids are kinda getting to the point they are losing some interest, so it made it easier. I do have the closet crammed full of their stuffed animals they couldn't part with. Noah has a closet in our bedroom, aka "lego closet" I will show you that later. I had to move the girl's dresser out too...but had a smaller plastic drawer that is in the closet.

and even had room for one more bunkbed :)

Christian and his onsie

He was so good while we were at the library program....he stayed in his stroller the whole time. All I had to do was talk to him, and that was enough entertainment. He just loves to smile all the time....it is very infectous. :)

The mom beside me had brought a bag of assorted sizes, and she offered me a onsie to make for Christian. I let everyone take turns making circles on it, and it turned out very cute, and they were excited to be part of making it for him.
It is not only cute, but tasty too! :)

I just included these 2 b/c I thought they were cute....he is really trying to tell me something in the bottom photo!

fun, clean, tie dye project

I just had to share our latest Library project. It is tie dye...the clean way, the momma gets to watch calmly while the kids are entertained for awhile kinda way :)

Seriously, we were there an hour, and I know they could have worked much longer than that. I was thinking...this could really occupy them on days when they are bored.

Here is how to do it.....

1.) Get a cup...and a rubber band, place the cup between the shirt, and fasten it with the rubber band making a circle.

2.) get permanent markers, and draw circle, lines, dots...doesn't matter

3.) when you finish each design, squirt alcohol (they used a dropper, I think it might be quicker with a spray bottle, but that might could get dangerous too)

4.) sit back, and watch as your kids are absorbed in their project

5.) open the window or have some ventilation, b/c I got a headache smelling all that alcohol at the library....of course there were over 50 kids doing this in one room.

6.) Once the kids are totally finished with their shirts, put them in the hot dryer for 15 mins to get the color sit. And there you have it!

Leah taking a photo herself of her shirt....they loved their new shirts!! Check out my other blog to see the cute onsie we made for Baby C.

If only everyone child could have a fairytale ending...

My sweet oldest son Noah. Noah is going to be 9 years old in just a month. 9 yrs old. I have loved him for 9 years + 9 months....and even longer before that as I longed to become a mother. I loved him before I ever knew who he would be.

Since moving to a new county, apparently DHS doesn't have our age specifications, or home limitations. We have gotten a call every week with them looking for a home for a boy. One night it was at almost 9 pm. We literally do not have any room to take in another child, no matter what the age or gender is. Even if we physically had the room, I have enough going on right now that I couldn't take on another child...but it is heartbreaking everytime I have to say no. Each child they have called about, I have stopped and prayed for them after we got off the phone, and they have been heavy on my heart, even though I don't know anything about them. Today, they called me about a 9 year old boy. I know there are children everyday that need a home, but it is really hard to get those phone calls every week...for children that are hard to place, b/c I know I am just 1 person in a long line of people saying no. But this boy, he was the age of my boy.

Tonight we watched the movie "Meet the Robinson's" Have you ever seen it? I haven't until tonight. I cried. I don't want to get into the plot of the movie...but the main character, a 13 yr old, wanted to be adopted so badly. And he was in the end, and everyone lived happily ever after. Oh I wish fairy tales came true. I wish the reality was that a 13 yr old could be adopted so easily. I wish that even if they were adopted, they wouldn't have so many years of hurt and pain inside them.

We were all playing Monopoly together while we were watching the movie, and I looked across from me at my Noah. I just cried. I cried for that 9 yr old boy that has been heavy on my heart today. I cried b/c I am so glad that Noah has had a safe and loving home his 9 years, and I also cried b/c this boy hasn't....and I am not able to give that to him. I pray desperately that someone is giving him a loving and safe home tonight, b/c as I look at my son that I love so much, I can't imagine what this boys life must be like.

blog post

I have 3 new posts on my private blog about our babies...go check them out

www.blessingsforthegoodlife.blogspot.com

Again, if you would like to view my other blog, please leave me a comment or e-mail me....it is only private to protect our children, I am happy to let you view it.

thankful for our attorneys

Last night I was so excited to get this photo of these 2 smiling together, I e-mailed it to both of the boy's attorneys. I just thought maybe sometime it is good to see what they are fighting for....b/c they really only ever see them for the hour we sit in court, and that has been awhile. I know if I had the job they had, I would want to see my clients looking happy and healthy, and together. So, I e-mailed it to them. I know that Zachariah's attorney loves pictures, she takes one of him everytime she sees him.

This morning, I got this e-mail from Christian's attorney.

"Maury, that picture made me cry!!! That is just adorable! This picture shows me even more that they are well worth the fight to keep them together and happy like this! Thank you very much! Love it!!"

Our permanency planning hearing is next week. This will be our court hearing where everyone testifies where the boys will be long-term. I will have to testify my plans, and that I know what I am doing raising these boys with special needs. The judge will make her final decision that the boys will be adopted by us. That is the recommendation by all, so I think things will be o.k. but a lot has gone on with this case....more than they have even let me know about, and we have come close to someone making the decision to split them up several times. I was nervous going into this with 2 different attorneys, but it has been a blessing for us. Zachariah's attorney told me the other day that Christian's attorney has fought VERY HARD for Christian to be able to stay with his brother, and with us. I feel so blessed to have both of them on our side, fighting for our family!!

Zachariah's first day of school

Things have gone so smoothly with our move as far as the babies go. I was told after the last staffing that I needed to get Zachariah started in a theraputic daycare. Everyone that is involved with his care agree that he would benefit from it, and that he needs much structure everyday. I agree...since moving, and he has been home for 2 weeks, he has been a WILD child. He constantly seeks sensory stimulation, and he needs constant supervision. He gets that between all of us here, but he thrives on structure...and there is only so much structure we can have around here.

He is going to Helping Hands in Maumelle, which I have heard wonderful things about. They have speech, occupational, physical, sensory, and psychological therapy there. Wheh...and I think he will probably qualify for all of it. Early intervention is hugely important for children with FAS, and it is such a blessing that he is able to get into Helping Hands so quickly, as there is usually a waiting list.

He has been attending daycare for over a year now, I am not sure why I am so sad to see him go. This is really more like sending him off to school....when he isn't quit 2. Helping Hands is Medicaid paid, and they have to meet so many hours per week...I used to keep him home a lot before, and now he will have to be there unless he has appointments or is sick. He will be able to attend his new school until he starts Kindergarten....and even for 1 extra year if he isn't ready to start when he is 5.
He is a smart little boy, but he does have a lot of challenges. He is able to learn, but has to learn differently from other kids. We have been learning so many new things, new ways to teaching, disciplining, and lots of patience. The statistics for children with FAS being successful as adults is not very favorable. Lots of mental illness, crime, homelessness....scary stuff. Zachariah, luckily, has about the best case scenario he can have. I kinda look at raising him a little differently. We all raise our kids to be functional, successful adults, but we usually assume that is going to be the final outcome with our children. We can't just assume that for him. FAS is true brain damage, and many have very low I.Q.'s, making it difficult to live independently. We know, that is a possibility for him, and maybe both boys. So, even at the age of 2, I am very conscious of his future, and getting the best possible resources sent his way, to help him out the best way we can. I feel that the Lord has sent all of this his way. To have the diagnosis he has, things have gone so well in diagnosing him and getting him services. I feel God's arms wrapped around us, and him everyday.

Pics of my babies

which are try to quickly not be babies anymore!! Growing, growing, and growing. And on the move...keeping me a movin' too!

He wasn't quit sure of Rachel's arm around him!
This crazy hair....is always crazy, and I love it!!

He is such a silly little boy...and that is what he is, a little boy...not my baby anymore...sniff sniff...

This one just makes me laugh....and made Noah laugh too when I took it. :)

I tried to sneak in and get a picture of them sleeping. Christian is so funny...the way he reaches his arm around behind him looks so un-natural, but he loves to feel his blanket when he is going to sleep...I found this really cute blanket the other day and had to get it for him...I knew he would love feeling of that.

Such sweetness....

and then he popped his little head up and caught me!!!

This one...when he goes to sleep, he is OUT!

I don't think I ever posted about these pictures, and if I did, sorry for the repeat. Noah came home one day and had drawn his name in animal letters, and I loved it! So, I bribed him with payment if he would do me one for the babies. I had these frames I wasn't using, printed off some of my fav pics of them, and mounted them on scrapbook paper I already had, and a cheap wall decoration, that I LOVE!