Update

I hope you are ready for some reading....and hang in here.....towards the end of this post I have an update on where our foster care process is.....Ahh what to do...what to do. I know you all think I am crazy as a loon! Truly, we can't decide what we want to do. What is truly best for our family. I think a lot of me is just missing the way things were. When we lived in our house in Warren, Clay worked at the bank.....before we ever started this business. It was a risk and an adventure to move up here, but I am just so ready for stability. To be in a place where we will never talk about moving, to just be happy where we are. And maybe we will never get to that point. I am a constant changer, rearranger, looking on real estate sites ALL the time. Clay tells me I should go to real estate school b/c I can tell you everything there is to know about every house for sale in Monticello, Warren, and half of Maumelle. So, I don't know if I will ever get to the point I am satisfied. The house we live in now....it is all I have ever dreamed of in a house, and I love it, but I am sick of living on top of everyone, with the houses all crammed together. I would like a house with rent about half what we pay now, it is just way too expensive....anyway, didn't mean to get off on all that again.

I think when we say we want to move back to Monticello, we are just wanting to run away. Feel like that is the safe and easy way out b/c that is where we are from, our family is there, it is SAFE....in several ways. It is overwhelming to me living up here. Always getting to know new things. Having to meet new people. The people here are nice, but it seems everyone already knows each other. And without school or work, the only way for me to meet people is for ME to take the initiative, and I am scared to do that. We have somewhat isolated ourselves, and the longer we are this way, the harder it is to get out of it.

So, why I was upset yesterday has nothing to do with actually moving to Monticello. That was my flight instinct kicking in. I was frustrated with our foster care stuff, so was ready to just move on.

I contacted the CALL in October of last year about beginning the foster care training, and they told me they were not doing anymore classes until after the holidays. So we went to our info meeting in January, and then began and completed our training in February. We took our CPR class the first weekend in April, I filled out all our paperwork, and they came to our house for the homestudy the day after that class. Well that was a flop, I have already told you about that....they were here for the adoption homestudy, and we needed foster care. So, after that, I waited a couple of weeks to hear back from our social worker if I needed to send in all our paperwork, or hold it until the social worker came. (b/c the other case worker had wanted me to just give it to her that day, but then didn't want it when she wasn't doing the homestudy) I fill out a HUGE stack of paperwork too. Finally, I was told to send it in. So I did. And waited and waited some more. I guess got it to her around the first of May, and then she ignore me a couple of times I tried to contact her. (this is the same girl I work with for the Heart Gallery photos, and she is super quick to respond for all that stuff, so I know she was getting my e-mails about the other and just ignoring me)

Everytime I talked to her, she would say, we are just about ready to make your referral, and then it was I'll do it this week, I'll do it this week. Finally this week, she said she really was ready. I even had to meet her in person to give her the cd of pictures, and she didn't mention anything, but after I got home from meeting her, I get an e-mail from her telling me that she went to give my paperwork to make my referral with the one doing the home study, and she JUST remembered that as of MAY 20th, they met, and have now combined the home study for the foster/adoption to where it is the same homestudy, and b/c of that, I have to fill out ALL NEW PAPERWORK, and then as soon as I get that back to her, she will make our referral for the homestudy. I was so furious yesterday, I couldn't even talk about it. I know I had my stuff to her at least 2 weeks before that meeting, and had been trying to get it to her and get my homestudy done, a month before that. And, on top of all that, they have added a few things to the approval process that wasn't there to begin with. And, one of those being we have to attend a family foster support group meeting through the CALL. And, ironically, I had just gotten an e-mail about this week saying that they are not having any meetings during the summer, and the next meeting will be August 26th. And it said on her outline, that had to be done before the homestudy. URGH!!!

And it is so frustrating b/c the CALL was created to make it FASTER, and EASIER than dealing with DHS. When we began, they told us it would be 3-5 weeks, and the longest thing was getting back our fingerprints. Which we have now gotten mine cleared too. They preach and preach about how they are in DESPERATE need of foster families, but then we get so close and then just come to a stand still. And, I know everyone that has been through this has probaby has similar things happen, but it still frustrates me. And truly, at this point, I think it would be easier to call DHS and say, I want to be a foster parent, and then say, I have had my CPR, my PRIDE training class, have all the certificates to prove it, and have had all my background checks, and all I need is a homestudy. And, I could do that in whatever county I want to. SO, that is why yesterday, I wanted to move to Monticello. And today.....I have no idea...I think I just want to crawl in a hole! LOL