We are o.k.

Don't mean to leave everyone hanging, just had to spend the last couple of days getting things ready. Court for Z went o.k. Thursday. I am not sure how much is appropriate to talk about, but to sum it up, nothing at all was really decided. Mom still MIA, dad still wants him, but everyone involved are concerned about some things. They are really pushing for a relative to step forward to get him. The hard and painful part for me, IF a relative steps forward at anytime, even at the end, he will more than likely go to them. Doesn't really seem to matter how much we love him and he loves us. That just makes me want to scream. They did tell me that Z's attorney is a good one. His next hearing isn't until the end of June, so I know we have him until then. That will be his permanency planning hearing. That is where they will decide his outcome. Maybe. The whole thing makes you want to laugh to keep from crying....it is the most frustrating and helpless feeling in the world. He will be almost a year by then, and it will be that much harder for him to seperate from us.

I moved Amber and Hunter to their new home last night. I tell ya, yesterday was easier than the days leading up to it. I got teary a couple of times, but once I got back home, we loaded up and went to the mall and Red Lobster! We had 4 kids with us, and felt like we could do anything. We even had a couple beside us compliment us on how well behaved everyone was...which they were. I have to tell you, I am AMAZED at my children through all this. They were always SO kind to both kids. They played with both of them, shared everything, and handled very well that I had to share my attention with them a lot. I told them last night THANK YOU for that. I gave them credit for how well Hunter has done.....b/c they have helped so much. Rolling in the floor, playing with him, loving on him, talking to him, helping his with his exercising. They were great!

Amber jumped out of the car and gave Ms. Jenny a big hug and told her she missed her.....so I thinks she is going to do fine. Hunter whines and cries when I am not holding him, and doesn't always want to go to other people, and he did great with them. I really wanted to get a picture of them with their new family....I swear, they look like they could be theirs. Such a cute family! And, I will already get to see them Tuesday. They have a class they are taking until 7 pm, so I will just pick them up from daycare and keep them a couple of hours until they get home. I think we may have them one weekend in February too. Thank you everyone for your encouragement and prayers. I will say, this was actually my decision to have them moved, and I want to talk about that more later. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it is what I thought was best for them, our family, and me. It was so painful though. I told the family last night that they are truly an answer to prayers. I could not have done this, if I hadn't know they were going to such great people.

We all went to the park yesterday before it was time for them to go.

Oh what a cutie tootie!! I am just loving his little blond curls!! He looks like such a big boy! He will be 1 yrs old in 3 weeks. I may have to plan something for us to get together for his b-day...our kids were very sad that he was leaving before his b-day.