anticipation

Please remember us in prayer this week as we are going to court on Wednesday at 10:00 am for Zachariah's termination of parental rights. I just pray that everything goes as planned. I love this boy so much, and hope that he will get to be officially part of our family. If this boy had to ever go, he would take the biggest piece of all of our hearts with him. I can't believe I have been so blessed to be his momma for 15 months. There are so many emotions tied around loving a child so much, that you don't know will be with you forever. But isn't that the case for all of our children? Loving Zachariah has really brought that home to me, and made me realize not to take anything for granted with my children. Having 3 others come into our home and leave, gives me a small taste of what it is like to lose a child, and it is very painful, but also such a blessing to have had them in our lives. I wouldn't trade any of it. I am just getting so anxious when I think about court. I am so ready to get past this. Sometimes I look at him, and I am just overcome with grief, at just the thought of "maybe".

I feel like I really do have 7 children. I think about the all, all of the time. I am blessed to still get to be in contact with the other 3, and get to see them whenever I am missing them. I went to visit Talan yesterday, and he felt so good in my arms, and we were all not getting enough time getting to hold him. It was making me really question my decision for him to leave, b/c we sure do miss him.

I am also aware of Zachariah's dad. He has been faithful in visiting him his whole life. I know that is rare for a dad to be so involved with a foster child. I know it is going to be painful for him to lose him. But then I look at Zachariah with Clay. They have the sweetest bond. Have I told you that it makes me fall more in love with Clay everyday when I look at how he loves Zachariah? He is so good with him, and Zach just loves him. Everytime he walks into the room, Zach will just run up to him saying "da da da da". When he has been gone, and comes home, Zach gets so excited.

These photos were taken when we were on vacation. I love this one where Zachariah is just snuggled up on his chest.
Clay is so good to get up and walk him around when we go places.
Zachariah was doing this to the door of the pool, as someone was walking up...she came in the door just laughing, and it took me a minute to realize she was laughing at the image on the other side of the glass!

He is growing into a big boy so quickly!

Blowing kisses....his favorite thing to do.

Yesterday, when I picked him up from daycare, he saw me from his room, and the gate wasn't up. He jumped up, squealed, and ran down the hall to meet me just grinning and saying, "hi hi hi hi". When I picked him up, he tickled me, then turned his body to blow kisses to his teacher. It was the CUTEST thing! Priceless. I don't think my own kids ever greeted me like that. I really wish I had a video of that.