Ma'am, can I have a quarter?

I recently watched The Blind Side for the first time the other night. Oh, it was so good, and struck several cords in me. What made me the most emotional, was in the end, when she was showing the shots of the young men, that hadn't been so lucky in life. She said how these men came from the same background as her son, and how he could have easily have been one of them. I thought of my sweet babies. DHS gets a bad rep a lot of times, but in my eyes, they have saved my babies from a life of abuse, drugs, crime, living on the streets...who knows what.

I recently read this post, and it is so well said, please take the time to go read it. It is titled "Living Life with Eyes Wide Open". Because what she said hits home so hard, and brings me tears every time I read it, I want to include 2 paragraphs here...

"When I train pre-adoptive parents, I tell them to consider the part of society that most of us in middle class spend our lives trying to avoid. Those who are involved in drugs or alcohol, domestic violence, mental illness, poverty, and crime. I tell them that becoming a foster parent, or adopting out of foster care is inviting "those people" into our lives-- because "those people" live in the minds and hearts of our children. Our children are "those people".

And so, as time goes by, embracing those that are different and whose lives are glaringly imperfect, changes us. It becomes more difficult for us to tolerate injustice, racism, or intolerance. "Those people" become "our people" and we are forever changed. "

I was also reminded of this bible verse the other day, Matthew 25:40 "the King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." My friend referenced it in caring for foster children. I haven't ever thought of it this way, of them being "the least of these" b/c to me they are just sweet beautiful babies. But, when you think about those paragraphs above....it gives me a whole new look at it. And those words struck a cord with me, b/c I do look at the world differently.

Today, I was in Pine Bluff, and as I went into a store, I had a man come up and ask me for a quarter. Now, there are people in LR that do that from time to time, so I am used to it. There was a time though, I would have just said I didn't have any money, and went on my way.

I dug into my purse and said, how about a dollar instead?, and went on in the store. But I kept thinking about it all through the store. Yes, he did make me a bit nervous, mainly b/c I was alone and he was a man, and he looked rough. He kept sitting there, was there when I came out. There was no coke machine, so I am sure he was just needing money, and was asking different people. And I know there is a good chance it was for drugs or alcohol. I am not naive to that. As I thought of him though, I just thought about the life he probably has. What life must be like to have to ask people for a quarter at a time. What was his life like growing up? Did his mom abuse drugs and alcohol? Was he in the foster care system, with no family that ever loved him like I love my boys? Poverty, drugs, alcohol....are all hereditary in their own way. Did this man even stand a chance from the beginning? I only gave him a dollar. I could have given him more, so this post isn't about that. All I could think about is how just a few years ago, I would have selfishly told him no. My mind would have thought all sorts of things about what he would use that money for, what kind of person he was to ask for it, thinking he was only up to no good. Society teaches us to think this way. I just became very aware of how differently I think now, b/c as in what Sandra Bullock said in The Blind Side, he could have easily have been one of my boys. (now, I am sorry that I didn't quote her in the movie totally accurately, but it was very late at night, and hey, I have 5 kids, so my memory aint so good :) Once upon a time, he may have been a cute little boy that only needed a good home, a family that loved him, thought he hung the moon.

zoo, movies, and my Birthday!

Wednesday we had a great time going to the zoo with friends. You can see that little Miss Lucy is a budding photographer, and you can also see her other photos on her momma's blog

Do you notice Rachel rubbing her eyes? This is a new tick of hers, and I believe is the cause of her pink eye she currently has.

We got to have an overnight visit from Amber, and we had a great time going to the movies Thursday. She ended up spending 2 nights with us, and it was a great visit!

When I got back from taking her home Saturday, they'd been shopping, and had this sign hung up for me.

My favorite part of my gift was the homemade wrapping paper. It was so cool!! It has all 8 of my babies on there.

And again, Rachel has her eyes closed. What is up with that? I asked her and she said, "sometimes the light is bright"....well seems like the light was bright all week long!

Spring Break

Wheh...this Spring Break is flying by! Life in general is just flying by these days. I miss blogging more frequently, but I just can't seem to get time for anything these days. Life is going good, great really. I will share a few things with you, and maybe when school starts back up next week, I can get more regular with my blogging again. We will see.

The kids are on Spring Break right now.

We went to see our family last weekend, and then the kids stayed a couple more days down there. I had planned on resting while they were gone, but I didn't seem to rest any.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 33. Am I really getting that old? My body feels older, but my heart and mind seems much younger. I am still blown away sometimes thinking that I am an adult, and I am responsible for myself, and 5 other little people. I have gotten a lot of cool things, and I want to share that with you...it has been fun, I have felt like I was celebrating all week!

Amber spent the night with us last night. Amazingly enough, adding 1 more child to the mix has not been one bit harder than my normal life. She has been so well behaved....better than when she lived with us, and better than my own kids. It is so nice that when we want to see her, I can just call and ask for her to come over. She fits right in, and always has a good time. It is really special to be able to do that.

I am still on an emotional high from last Friday. In case you missed it, there was a meeting that decided we would get to adopt both boys. Praise the Lord!! I feel so much peace, and so much joy when I look at my whole family.

I am also excited to announce that this week Clay was offered a new job. He had been working part-time, and was hoping for it to turn into something long-term, and it has. It is funny...I hope he doesn't care that I share this. One day one of my facebook friends posted that she needed some part-time accounting work. So, I told her Clay might be interested. So she fb me back to have him call....so he did. Then she fb what day for him to start working. It was really kinda funny....I got him a job on facebook! haha.. It really is all about who you know, huh? lol He loves it, and I think this is going to be great for us.

We went to the zoo with friends Wednesday, and had the best time. It was so nice to be out in the pretty weather, and get to visit with another adult!

My neighbors across the street are having a garage sale today, and my kids have walked over there about 5 times, and have eventually bought every Happy Meal toy and stuff animal they had in the sale. They were so excited about the "great deals" they were getting over there. Now, next week, I will have to have my own garage sale! haha They were really nice, I finally walked over there with them and met them. We have lived here over a year and I have never done that. shame shame.... They are also a foster family too, and I love how you can meet another foster family, and can instantly have so much to talk about! :)

My neighbor gave the kids some Junie B Jones books she had in the garage sale....that was so sweet of her!

Noah is working on a Flat Stanley project this week....that I believe we will have to have finished by Monday. I better find out about that....the week is near the end.

I went to the movies yesterday with the 4 big kids here....and you wouldn't believe how easy FOUR kids felt to me. I had a great time just hanging out with them. I am realizing how much I have been missing my kids, how lonely I have felt with them in school.

I really want to take some Easter pictures of my 5 kids together. I do not have one once of energy to pull that off right now. Are there any volunteers to come to my house, get them all ready, take them to a pretty outdoor location, and then take their pictures? I did have someone volunteer to take family pictures for us, which I really want to do....I just have to coordinate when we will do it....and convince hubby to have the patience to smile through it all. :)

We've had to take Flat Stanley with us everywhere we went. While they were at my parents, my dad took them, along with Flat, on a 4-wheeler ride.

5 months old

What a great way to celebrate this little guy turning 5 months old on the 19th....that was also the day of a big staffing, that came to a unanimous deicison for the boys to stay with us...to be adopted by us! It has been a tough few months, but I give all the glory to God! He has brought us through this time, and I saw his intervention all the way. I realized when I got ready to do this post in all the termoil this last month, I barely took any photos! I will have to make up for that this month.

So lets see about this little guy at 5 months old. He is growing growing. Him and Zachariah are both in the same size diaper....only weighing about 5 lbs difference. He loves to smile and laugh, and his disposition has improved greatly. He does well on the days he goes to daycare now. His teacher was so excited a couple of weeks ago to tell me that he'd had a good day! He used to be fussy there the whole day, but now he likes it.

He is still a momma's boy, but much more tolerant of others now...so glad for that!

He loves to be upright all the time. He is loving this Johnny Jumper. He will just sooth himself to sleep in it sometimes.

He is getting really good at playing with his toys.

I remember my older kids being this same way when they were little. If the baby was in the floor, they had to be right there with them.

Schedule

Are you a scheduled person?? I am not, at all. My kids are not, I guess I taught them that. When they were babies, they kinda had a sleep/eat schedule, but that fluctuated all the time, and it didn't seem to phase them, or me very much.

Our babies now, are scheduled. Well, when Z was little, he wasn't that scheduled.....he went with the flow pretty well, and adapted to whatever I needed him to do. He would still prefer to stay up late everynight. I think he could easily be a person that stayed up late, slept late. Which was great when we worked from home and I was homeschooling. I remember Amber and Hunter, and Talan too, all went to bed the same time, woke up the same time. I tried my hardest to get Amber and Hunter to alter from that, b/c I didn't like to get up with the roosters, and didn't function well, nor deal with her high energy first thing in the morning. She would never change. If I kept her up late, she still woke up the same time, but I regretted her lack of sleep all-day-long.

Baby C is scheduled. Very scheduled. You know it is bedtime without even looking at the clock. You know when he wakes up in the morning, it is somewhere close around 7 am....(although since daylight savings time it has been closer to 8). He does not like to alter from this schedule one bit. I have tried my hardest to get Z on this same schedule, so that we can all get up and get to school on time. If we can keep the same schedule every single day and night, he does o.k.

Daylight savings time has really messed us up. I have never had such a time recovering myself from the time change. Then, we went out of town this weekend. Major mess-up of a schedule. Enough that I don't want to leave the house again for a very long time. I love getting to go to Monticello, and enjoy spending time with my family, but I am still paying for their schedule interruption. C who always sleeps through the night, decided why we were gone to wake up and freak out for a bottle, and not wanting to disturb everyone, I gave him one. So now, he is wanting that bottle again every night. Z....you can never predict which nights he will sleep through the night, and which nights he will rock the house for hours. This is why I love that baby C has a predictable schedule.

And now I feel as disregulated as these poor babies. This is a new thing for me. I have always been able to adapt with our without sleep, change my schedule, catch up on sleep, and get back going soon. My babies are rubbing off on me I guess. I feel like I am developing sensory issues, I am suffering right along with them. :) Last night and this morning were rough. Z didn't sleep well at all last night, he had therapy first thing this morning at daycare, so I had to get him up and get him there. He was crying all the while I was getting him ready. I know all he wanted was for me to sit back and hold him, but I couldn't. When we got to daycare, he was so upset, screaming....it was very hard.

Student of the week

Leah was chosen for Student of the week last week for her classroom. She said the teacher draws names, so everyone gets a chance to do it. She got to take photos of herself up there, and they hung it up with these questions. I don't know if you can read it, but it was neat to see the answers she wrote down, b/c she filled this all out without me knowing.

1. What is your favorite subject? Math (funny she says that, b/c she hated Math at home)

2. Where is your favorite place to travel? Why? Florida, b/c I like to go to Sea World (me too baby!)

3.) What is your favorite character from a book? Ready Freddy

4.) What do you want to be when you grow up? a foster mom (My heart swells at that. That is also what she told the lady that was doing our home visit...she looked really surprised)

5.)What is your favorite food? Ice Cream

6.) Name someone who is special to you? My mom b/c she takes me to school (would that be versus my mom who used to keep me home for homeschooling? haha....she is my child that says she never wants to come back home for school.)

7.) What is your favorite sport? Swimming

The last one is asking about her family and pets....and she named everyone she could think of in her family :)

My sweet beautiful girl!

His not so cute side....

***Warning*** This is an absolute meltdown. I did not video this as a joke, or to be mean. This is really just to document his behavior. From what I am learning, this is pretty typical FAS behavior, not just toddler behavior. He is not feeling well today, and it has been a DAY! Lots of meltdowns. This is when his lack of communication skills makes things really hard. He isn't feeling well, but can't tell me what is wrong. He can't tell me what he wants, or needs. He has just cried if I hold him, cried if I put him down. Cried to reach for food, and then have an absolute meltdown when I give him the food. Seriously. This meltdown in the video occured just b/c I sat him down for a minute. He had already been crying, and acting like he wanted out of my arms before I sat him down. He threw his worst, and longest tantrum to date this morning b/c I broke my granola bar in half to share with him. Apparently he just wanted the whole thing. He also threw a fit like this b/c I tried to give him the cheerios that he asked for. Luckily, this has been his worse day ever, as far as behavior goes. And, I have actually been able to stay in good spirits despite it, so I am glad for that. **I forgot to add earlier that after I put the camera down, I picked him up, and walked to the glass door where he could look out. He was stopped crying immediately. These meltdowns are pretty extreme, and irrational, but I have learned that I can usually pick him up, and redirect his attention, and he will get over them pretty quickly.

Do you know what set his mood on the uphill climb today? A piece of cake. I have offered him every food and drink that I have to offer, and finally I sat a piece of cake down in front of him, and he ate that, and then ate his cheerios, and drank his drink, and has been happier since.

Video on FASD

I can't seem to post this video directly to my blog, but would you please take the time to go over there and watch this? I feel the need to shout from the roof tops what alcohol can do to your child when you are pregnant. I have always heard, "don't drink when you are pregnant", but I never knew, or realize how bad it can affect a child. It causes permanent brain damage. There isn't a cure. It doesn't take much alcohol during pregnancy to cause this. Just one glass of wine a day can do it. If you have a few binges in the first month of pregnancy that you didn't know you were pregnant, it could have caused some damage. Please, if you know anyone that is pregnant or going to get pregnant that drinks, you need to educate them. This is serious. I am learning first hand how this can affect someone.

Your child doesn't have to have the facial features to have affects from alcohol, and have one of the disorders. My child has the full blown FAS, meaning he has the facial features, and the small head and body size to give him the diagnosis early on. There are other Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders that your child can have without the look...and they may seem normal in many ways, but have poor impulse control, difficulty learning some things....have bizarre behavior you can't explain. This can be totally preventable, so it is so important to advocate for them, and to get the word out about this epidemic.

YouTube - FASD Awareness for Women of Child-Bearing Age

Is your Quiver full?

When I thought of this phrase for the title of my post, I thought, what is a quiver? Well it has more than one meaning, but one meaning is a case full of arrows. Well, I don't have a case, and I don't have arrows, but I do have a home, and children. Is my quiver full? I wonder that often. I was talking with a friend today about how she feels God has given her the desire to have a big family, and she thinks he has brought all this about b/c that is his plan for her. First, I have to say that it was exciting for me to hear another foster mom say that to me b/c I feel that way all the time, but that just isn't something I really voice. I mean, I currently have 5 kids, am desperately hoping to keep 2, why would I want to have more? But I do. I think about it often. I don't think my quiver is full....as in my house. It is not full. My hands may be currently full, but my heart isn't as full as it could be.

That is interesting that I can look at it that way. Just this weekend, I was at a birthday party, and I mentioned that I had 5 kids. Of course, all eyes got big. And one said to the other, "I just don't know how she has the energy to care for 5 kids". I wonder that sometimes too....b/c I am not, and never have been an energetic person. Then one said to me, "I just couldn't have more kids, (she only has 2) how do you ever have room for 5 kids? I have been thinking about that a lot. When we began having our own children, we lived in a 2 bedroom house. Once we'd had 1 kid, I thought we were full. I then really stressed that we had a boy and a girl, and they had to share a room. Then we had our 3rd, and I started trying to create bedrooms out of a room no bigger than a closet, I moved a bed to the breakfast nook in the kitchen once, we even lived with our bed in our living room, (it was a HUGE room) b/c I thought these little bitty babies needed more room. I worried they would wake each other up....which they rarely did. I did have all 3 in a room for awhile, and they did just fine. Then we moved to an apartment. I hated those tiny bedrooms, and actually longed for our other house with the huge bedrooms. Then we moved to a 4 bedroom house. I finally had space for everyone to have their own bedroom. And yet, my home felt empty. I suddenly felt selfish for having all that room...for thinking I NEEDED all that room for my kids. Sure, they liked having their own space sometimes, I loved decorating 3 kid's rooms, and there was less fighting when it was time to clean, b/c everyone knew what space they were suppose to clean. I know now, God was working his magic.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't think everyone should have a bunch of kids. I don't think you have to become foster parents. I know God makes everyone different, and their desires different, and it is good that everyone is different. I do, though, know this is the path he wanted us to take, changing our minds and our heart all along the way so that we would do his will. It is funny to look at where we are now in life, and think if we could have ever imagine this once upon a time.

I even think about our time with Talan in our home. He is still so much in my heart. I think about him a lot, and wish things had been different, so that we could be his forever family. I have that desire. There is a time I would have never had that desire. I would have never voluntarily taken on a child with the needs he had, but the Lord had a different idea. I was able to do it, and it wasn't scary. I look at children with special needs so differently now. I was talking to Clay yesterday and told him that I am beginning to think that I would one day like to take on more special needs children, ones that are hard to find homes for...that having Talan made me not scared to do that. I know now isn't the time with all that we have, but I hope there will be a time for that someday. Even Clay agreed that he thought we might could do that. Amazing to me. I think just my experience with Talan has made my acceptance of Z's longterm diagnosis easier. I know I will be able to do it. I would have never voluntarily taken on a child with FASD had I just read about it on paper. It is so scary to read about it. But I know the child, and he is so special.

Back to my original point. My quiver isn't full. We rearranged our house so that now we have 4 bedrooms. So, now the babies share a room, the girls share a room, and we have an empty bed in Noah's room. Two of our bedrooms are really big, and I think about how I could easily fit a toddler bed in both rooms. Am I crazy? Yes, I am, I know that, I admit that. Or maybe...it isn't that I am crazy, but the Lord is telling me that we are not done. We DO have room for more children....there are more children that need us.

I know there is more to having kids besides having the space. I know I have plenty of love to go around. My kids have been talking lately about wanting more...so I am not warping them with all these kids....or maybe I am brainwashing them to think as crazily as I do. :) I feel the desire for more...I hate knowing there are kids that need a home, and I have space, and love, and time. I do have time. It may seem crazy to others to hear me say that, but I know if the Lord needs me to care for more children, he will also help me to be able to do it. I feel confident in that.

I often think about my invaluable experience of working at a nursing home. What wisdom we can get from someone near the end of their life. I can guarantee none of them ever said, "I had too many children". I did have several smile with joy as I talked about my children, and they remembered when theirs were younger. I remember one that had 6 children, and she just beamed with pride everytime any of them were around. If anything, I did hear some say they should have had more children. They had lived their life, and they could look back and see what was important. It wasn't a job, it wasn't a big house...all of that was gone. The saddest ones there were the ones who had no children, or none that visited. I remember ones with big families talking about how there would be several in 1 bed....that is so hard to even imagine this day and age. I also remember how they would tell me over and over again how precious children are. How I need to just take the time to enjoy them. What wisdom.

trampoline fun

Zachariah just wants to be one of them these days. If they go outside without him, he just stands at the door yelling for them. Luckily, my kitchen window is right by the sink, and the stove, so on this BEAUTIFUL day, I was able to let him go outside with the big kids, and with the window open, see and hear everything going on. They are so patient with them. I won't let them do much jumping when he is on there, and they were totally happy to just hang out and play with him almost long enough for me to finish the sloppy joes.

It never seems to bother them to pay with someone so much younger than him. See them in his face? They are just playing with him, and have done that his whole life. People are surprised when they hear he has FASD, and is doing so well. Usually children with full blown FAS, which he has, have significant delays, and a lot of problems when they are younger. He has minimal ones in comparison. I contribute it to these 3 people. Always patient, always kind to him, and in his face. :)
Here, that finger by his nose? That is him saying Ssshhhhh!

eating her treats

**my sister asked our hamster's name. It is a girl, that is all they sell at the petstore, (at least that is what they tell ya :) Her name is Chiny. Like China, but with a Y instead. That is b/c she is a Chinese Dwarf Hamster

Our little hamster loves her Ratatouie treats. Yesterday Rachel was trying to get her to crawl into her hand. She had the treat in her hand, but she would just grab it, and run off. She is a biter, so we were scared to try to get it from him...so she ended up with a stash of treats in the corner under his wheel. She is so funny!

1st grade Fairy Tale play

The whole 1st grade put on a fairy tale play Thursday night. It was so cute!! The kids did a great job!

When she got ready, Noah looked at her and said "wow, you will be the prettiest princess at the play". At first she said, "no I won't" b/c she had gotten upset at school when some of the kids asked who she was suppose to be, and then was saying she looked like she was wearing a wedding dress, (sorry...we are limited on dress up things around here) When I told her how sweet that was for him to say that, she she brightened up and said "thank you!" She did look beautiful, and she fit right in with all the other kids.

Her best friend had a really big speaking part at the beginning...I was so impressed by all that she memorized!

Then they performed it again the next day at school. I went back to watch again b/c we had been in the very back the night before, and I couldn't see a thing!

This is her class....there were so many momma's up there taking pictures, nobody was looking at me.

Here she is holding hands with her best friend. She just loves her....she told me that if we ever move, she is just gonna have to move with us!

This is her with her best friend, and another friend. She has a lot of sweet little girls in her class, and she says her favorite thing about school is her friends.

Here she got to play the quiet game. They have to stand up and pick 1 kid that is being the quietest. I got tickled watching...there were so many being quiet, but she walked around until her friend finally got quiet, and she picked her....and then that friend, picked another friend....finally the teacher told them they had to pick a boy!

Rachel really has the best teacher ever. She is awesome! She could not have been a better match for her. She even call Rachel Thursday night to tell her how good she'd done in the play. I feel so blessed that the school down the street is one of the best ones in the area.

lunch with my best pals

It is so theraputic for me to leave all my worries behind and enjoy 1:1 time eating lunch with my sweet kiddos. My 3 kiddos that I lvoe so much, that I know are MY children no matter what.

I went and got a $6 pizza yesterday for them. It works out great with their grades being the way they are b/c I can just sit there, and 1 after the other, they come in for their lunch. I love these guys!!!

help from big brother

Precious moments to me...

Finally!

Finally at 6 1/2 this girl has lost her first tooth! Bless her heart, it has been a long time coming. Both brother and sister lost theirs when they were 5. She was brave to let us try yanking on it several times, but when the tooth came out, she just cried and cried b/c she said the blood scared her. Baby girl, I am so excited for you, and here is to many more snaggle tooth days! :)

Beautiful boy

I have been trying to get a good close-up photo of Zachariah's face for a project I am working on for their room that I will show you later. I thought that I wanted one of him smiling, but that can sometimes be hard to do with a toddler. I thought I had failed, once again, in my attempts to get the perfect photo of him. But this one caught my eye. And keeps catching my eye. I love this photo of him. I just keep staring at it, in awe at just how beautiful this little boy is. Beautiful. And I can say that and not feel like I am "bragging" when I think the same of my own bio kiddos. He is beautiful.

He will be 20 months old tomorrow. Wow...only 4 months away from 2! The time has flown. He is learning new things everyday, and is such a delight to us all. With all the fears I have for him, I am in awe at how sweet and affectionate he is. When I pick him up, he just wraps his little arms around my neck and gives me a hug....it is just priceless. I am excited by how much our family loves him. He has fit in perfect, naturally with our family since day one. I feel in my heart of hearts that this child was born, for our family. God gave him to us, and he feels as much my own as Noah, Leah, and Rachel.

I am fearful....yet I am thankful

As I was taking the babies to daycare today, I was deeply thinking of my new found fears. And then I came home, sat down to write, and first read this post on fear, and maybe it isn't a coincidence that I came across that post this morning.

Our journey as foster parents has brought about a lot of fears for me. I am fearful that I am "doing enough" for our babies, that I made the right decision for our others to leave, I am fearful that I will lose our babies, I am fearful that I am giving our bio children equal time. I could go on and on about my daily fears I have. Today, though, and a lot lately, I have been focusing on my fear of FASD. I go between wanting to know everything I can know....and then being afraid of the unknown, and then not wanting to know what "could come", and just take one day at a time.

I am fearful that our youngest baby will also have FASD, and then also fearful b/c his signs aren't as obvious, that he won't be diagnosed with it. I am fearful that if he goes to live with his aunt, that they won't take it seriously, (b/c they seemed skeptical when we tried to educate them), and he will have struggles that nobody will understand, or get him help for.

I am fearful that I will be a mother of 2 boys with FASD, and it will kick my butt. Oh I get overwhelmed with fear of this one. I will have to be on my p's and q's at all times, and am I capable of that? Children with FASD must have structure and routine at all times.....and I am so not a structured or a routine person.

I am fearful that others will not understand. That even myself will not understand enough. I am fearful that my quest to help them, may neglect my own children....and I am just as fearful that "other's" will try to blame me of doing just that thing.

I am so thankful though. I am thankful for an early diagnosis. I am thankful for awareness. I am thankful that God chose me to be their mother, and has given me these early resources. I am thankful that I have a supportive husband and family, that encourage me to love these babies. I am so thankful that I have unconditional "mother's" love for these babies that will make it easier to fight this fight. I am thankful that I have experience as a mother, and wisdome to know that "this too, shall pass" and to take each day at a time. I am thankful for the patience God has given me with our 1 yr old. Patience that I didn't have when my 3 were younger, but that I definately need for this journey. I am thankful that I have a heavenly Father that will carry this burden for me. Just last week, my prayer to him was that if he blesses me to be their forever mother, then he will also have to carry me through this journey, daily, and that I will only be able to do this with his help. I am thankful for all my friends that are such encouragers to me.