Our story....how he came to us...

So, I am up at 5:00 am right now, and I reek of spit up....Ahh....the good ol memories of my babies being little. I guess you all know where my computer time has gone, huh?? I think I checked my e-mail 2 times yesterday. That is a record for me! LOL He actually spits up less than my others did even though he has reflux. He is so sweet. I can't believe I have a little baby again to take care of. I really thought that would never happen again. I absolutely love babies. I also love sleep, and didn't handle the lack of it too well when mine were little. I was a zombie yesterday, but am feeling much more refreshed this morning, and am debating on if I should go back to bed or not once he is asleep.

I feel so good about having Zachariah placed with us. Whatever his future holds, I know without a doubt, this is exactly where God wants him to be right now, and he set all the wheels in motion to get him here. As I go through it all in my head, it becomes overwhelming of God's awesomeness! For a long time, we weren't even considering a newborn. Also, he is biracial, (that is why his skin is such a beautiful tan) and we also were only considering caucasian at first as well. Only b/c we thought that would be easier to ease into this....we are pretty private people, and didn't want to call attention to our family. This is something I prayed about, b/c I did feel guilt about it, I felt like, if I were doing this as a minstry to God, how could we exclude anyone just based on that factor. And, when I first heard about Zachariah, and we were discussing if we thought he was a good placement or not, we both decided before we found out his race, that it did not matter. We would take whatever God gives us. So, again, this just feels so right. When we were in Monticello for VBS, I got an e-mail from my fellow foster mother friend Christie. She told me she had just gotten a temporary placement of a 4 week old baby boy. I e-mailed her back saying "OH...I wish I had a 4 week old baby boy at our house!" At that point, we were so discourage. We had our home visit scheduled for the next Monday, but were also wondering just how long it would take from that point to get our home open. So even though I said that to her, I NEVER imagine we would get him!

Zachariah was scheduled to go to a new foster home on the Monday that we had our home visit, but other things took place over the weekend, and the family that was going to take him, ended up getting placed with a sibling group of 3 little ones. Christie was so excited b/c it is very hard to get to place that many siblings together in one home, so she agreed to keep Zachariah a little longer until they could find him a good home. B/c this wasn't even his 1st placement since being born, they wanted to find one that he would be able to stay at from here on out. So, she just suggested to me that wouldn't it be cool if our home got opened quick enough for us to get him. I really doubted that at the time though. Then Christie fell and broke her foot in 2 places. Being the super woman she is though, she still wanted to keep him, in hopes that we would be open soon. She knows everyone involved, so she suggested the placement to them, and I am pretty sure that is how our home got open so soon. If they need you open for a particular placement, it seems to hurry them quit a bit. Until the day I picked him up, I was scared it wouldn't all work out. They called me at 4:30 Wednesday to tell me that our home was now open!!! I was thrilled!! It was such a huge relief after months of thinking something might happen to make it not work out. Even though Christie and I are friends though, we had to wait until the next day so that everything was done the right way, and we met with the case worker for me to bring Zachariah home.

I do feel like he will be with us for a while. That is what they have indicated to me based on his story. He is just a foster placement. It will be a while until he would get to the point of being an adoptive placement. And, we aren't even sure right now how we feel about that. Of course a part of me at this moment thinks, I want him to be my baby forever. How could I not feel that way. But, on the other hand, we really went into this to be foster parents. There are a lot of people out there that are willing to adopt....especially a guy like him. People would be waiting in line to be able to adopt him, even at the age of 1. Luckily, that is something we don't even have to think about right now. We just get to enjoy him being in our family.

The plan is always reunification with the family, but he is a long way from that, if it will be a possibility. There is a hearing in September that will determine his plan, and also will research if there are any possible family members that would want to adopt him, or become foster parents. They do try to do that when possible so that the child can stay closest to their roots. And that situation may not always work either, but that is what the judge decides. So, I guess there could be a possibility of someone coming forward wanting him. Even that wouldn't be immediate. They still have to do background checks and they would have to go through some of the stuff that we did, but not as much to get approved.

I wonder when he gets fussy what he is thinking. Does he feel anything for me right now?? How much of all that begins with babies? He has had several people taking care of him, does he wonder who I am? These 3 silly kids whose faces and hands are near him at all times, who are these nutty people?? Does he feel secure here? Can he see how much we already love him?