Our life

Ooh...I am excited for all the blog comments! Thanks everybody! I got all this started, and then I spent the rest of the afternoon working on editing wedding pictures....I made a good dent in them, but still have a long way to go. It was so quiet....Clay had a wedding, and then the 3 kiddos went down to play at the neigbor's house for a couple of hours. (He had been here before that, so it went from 4 kids, to no kids....so, yes, very quiet!) I have been very productive today, and that is such a good feeling!

I have so many things I have thought about that I wanted to talk about the last couple of months, but was waiting until when I could just sit down and form my thoughts. Of course, our life is not nearly as sugar coated as it may seem with all our smiling photos on here all the time....I don't seem to document the downs....just the ups! I have always been a pretty pessimistic person, so maybe it has been good for me to just focus on the highlights of our life! I realized that when you googled my name, our photograhy, and my blog both come up, and I didn't want to ever talk about anything that might reflect on our business. Such as a couple of bridezilla's we have had this year. (I am not talking about Angela) I had one girl, and her wedding is coming up soon, and her and her mom have absolutely worn me out! To the extent I want to just send her money back.....and we still have her HUGE wedding coming up! I don't deal well with people that can't seem to be happy no matter what. It gets on my ever last nerve!!!!

So...where we are with our foster care certification. We have been at a standstill the last couple of months. We have finished everything that we have to to do except for our homestudy. Back when I was ready to go private, I thought we were nearing the end. We had our homestudy scheduled, and she was coming just 2 days later. Well, she came, and after talking for just about 5 mins, we realized that she was here to do an adoption home study, and not a foster care homestudy. There are 2 different ones. See...it was partly my fault, b/c I had inquired about a sibling group of 3.....(yes, I know, you can all call me nuts now for even considering it). And they got all excited when I asked about them, and kicked it in overdrive b/c they were needing to get them placed soon, and someone else was looking at them, but if we were interested, they wanted us to get in there quick with our homestudy. Well.....after fretting over it for some time, and knowing that was just too many, too quick....I called them back and told them we just weren't ready for that, and to switch us back to foster care. I think they must have already put in for us to have our adoption home study, so that is who came. She said she was contracted by DHS from a private agency, and she only worked with adoptions, so she left. I am really kinda glad....in just the 5 mins she was here....she made 2 or 3 comments to indicate that she thought we were crazy for wanting more children when we already have 3. And yes, I know a lot of people think that, but you would THINK that someone who's job is working with adoptions would have a different opinion. But anyway.....

About 2 days after that, I got an e-mail telling me that my fingerprints that had taken 2 months to come back...couldn't be ready by the machine, so I had to go have those redone. But, to do that, I had to take my other ones up there, and that took 2 weeks for them to get them to me so that I could drive back to the State Police Headquarters to have them redone, and pay to have them expidited. I was told that it won't take as long this time...only a couple of weeks...and I hope that is right. I have asked our social worker twice about when we would be getting our homestudy, and she FINALLY responded to me this past week...that she is going to do it ASAP b/c she needs to get our home open. I was like YES....YOU DO! ha ha

We have to fill out a form requesting what type of child we want to have...and I had first said under 4 or 5, but then I went back and changed it to under the age of 2. But, we are also willing to take a sibling group of 2. She told me in the e-mail that she had gotten calls last week for a 1 and 2 yr old brothers, and then a 1 yr old boy and 1 month old girl! I told her...yes, I would have taken either one of those, so hurry up! It is like being pregnant....but your due date just keeps getting extended further and further away. I am also in a nesting phase, but since am not totally sure what age they will be, don't even know if I need to be trying to find baby stuff, or what. We have nothing saved from the other kids, so we will be starting over from scratch if we get a baby.

This morning in Walmart, I had both girls with me, and Rachel asked to go look at the baby stuff. (she asks me this about everytime we go anywhere with a baby section these days) It reminds me of when I was pregnant with them and I would look in the baby section everytime, and it would drive Clay crazy! Now, I have me two little momma's....and a little daddy to look with me. We just oohed and aahed over all the cute stuff, and they were naming off EVERYTHING we would need to get "when our babies come live with us" And I kept telling them yes IF we get one that is young enough.

I think about it all the time....just as much as I thought about it when I was pregnant. I have gotten discouraged many times....thinking, what are we doing?? And with the weeks of not hearing anything, I have said so many times....oh, we should just forget it. OR...when I have been frustrated with my brides....I am just going to go get me a real job! (I actually got a call for a job interview at Children's Hospital next week, but I have about decided not to go to that) But getting a real job, in my eyes, I would not be able to take on more kids, or it wouldn't be fair to mine or them b/c I would be too busy. BUT.....you know, when we are all 5 here together, and things are CRAZY, and then I get frustrated, and anxious.... But, all of that said.....a lot of it just has to do with getting sidetracked from what matters....taking my focus off doing this for the Lord. I do firmly believe for me this is doing the Lord's work, and as long as I am focus on that, I have full faith and no doubt that this is exactly the direction our family should be going in. And I know, the Lord will continue to provide for us....as he has done all along.....I just have to keep reminding myself of that....and I need to be spending more time in prayer.

And....so much of this journey is about patience.....something that I have trouble with sometimes. I think the Lord knows exactly what he is doing slowing things down....May is a very busy wedding month for us, and then it slows down, and Clay has most of them by himself after this month, so that will free me up to be focusing totally on our family....and our new members.

So, I see this post is just several paragraphs of rambling.....but it is just a touch on the surface of what all I have been holding inside the last few months.

So, if you are still with me after all that reading....if anyone can come up with a catchier title for my blog...shoot me some ideas. I was wanting to kinda carry over the living the good life, but have a twist to it....but I am just not creative with all that. I hope to share some of the photos with you soon that I have been taking for DHS. I am so emotional about these kids. The other day I was told that in November, they are going to have a Heart Gallery gala, and all of the kids that have been placed this year....they are going to present their photos to them and their new family. I started bawling when they told me that....I cannot even imagine how I will be at the event....A total basket case!!